I know the "nothing matters" feeling well, and I've benefited from leaning into it. Nothing matters, so why not do something that makes me happy. Nothing matters, so why not do something nice for someone. Nothing matters, so be gay, do crimes, order guac on the burrito, eat the entire pint of ice cream, try something new.
Also, for some reason, this comment and Marin's answer are prompting a wave of affection toward you all, inside me?
Lots, lots of love to the little community of commenters here struggling with similar thoughts and feelings. I don't know any of you, but it's a regular source of joy to read you and see your names (and much affection to you too, you invisible heart-ers!). It feels safe, and helpful, and wholesome in spite of it all; and full of gender feels and thoughts about so many different lives. I love this, and, to the extent of its meaning toward kind Internet strangers, I love you, too.
This apathetic state shall pass. Take care. Take care, take care, take care. You're seen, and so, so brave for being queer (or LGBT+ and living your truth in spite of it all, if you don't vibe with that other word) and being you. It's so... inspiring, seeing other people with echoing stories gathered in this soft corner of the Internet. It gives me strength. Hope you can feel a small part of that strength, too. We'll get through this. <3
I was thinking the very same thing! I tend to get very anxious on social platforms (more so than irl) but I feel safe here, for the reasons you stated. Seeing familiar names here make me happy. I hope you take care, too <3
There's also the fact that most social networks these days go incredibly fast, with - in my opinion - an overloading way of feeding you new info all the time without any possibility to catch up (except by digging through heaps of messages and feeling like you missed the whole train on this or that topic - hi Twitter and Discord). Comment sections (especially such a positive one) feel much closer to small-sized forums from Internet days of yore, where you could write lengthy messages so much time after the original thread and still get answers, at your own, slow pace (I liked forums so much more, OK? x) They were a better fit for my anxious, easily overwhelmed, long answers liker, and FOMO-fueled brain).
I like this a lot about this place: each answer is a tiny rush of serotonin in and of itself. It's so heartwarming.
okay I don't really mean this in a creepy way but i like to look at all of the comments and stuff and the heartfelt stuff and it makes me happy to see all of the strangers living in different parts of america or canada or like,, even switzerland or something just making friends and bonding over the smallest things. some of these things stick in my brain for months afterward and make me smile in the middle of class or something else and so just to see all of these people not caring about anything but at the same time caring about so many things talking about their problems and their joys, and its so sweet and i wish i could heart some of these posts multiple times i just- i dont know, sorry i went on a ramble there :)
The "nothing matters" phase of my depression saved my life. It took the pressure, fears and imaginary responsibilities away and taught me how failing, while somewhat inevitable, most of the time does not really matter at all.
When I accepted the world wasn't really depending on me or my contributions to society I finally was free to start over - so today I have awesome queer relationships and do dwarven nonsense for a living.
Still nothing matters but everything I do beyond nothing feels like a bonus. No setlist, only encore.
Been feeling the ebb and flow of this one for the better part of a decade. Please know that you simply sharing this experience is incredibly meaningful.
Yeah, I've been kind of moving from the first to the second kind during the last two years, too... If I may say, though, even if nothing really matters, you matter to your loved ones, and they probably matter to you underneath this (understandable) apathy. This will pass, I promise, and strong feelings - notably of joy, of connection, of understanding - will come again. They slowly have been for me, in the last few months, and even though it still feels like nothing matters in the grand scheme of things, my heart is bursting with love for my close friends and lovers, and I think this sense of, of closeness, of community, is so, so full of purpose and life.
Good luck weathering this storm of whatever, and take care <3 As Jorts the cat would say, there *will* be more sunbeams.
Thank you for this. For the first time I was able to recognize the signs of my depression a few days ago, and today it really hit. It's strange seeing how it evolves over time and you learn to change with it - or it's an absolute shock and you just gotta find the strength to be nice to yourself. Anywho, Thank You. <3
Sounding the bugle for you, ND; sorry you’re going through it. Been feeling a similar way lately, like the world could just crumble away from beneath and I wouldn’t care even if I started to fall. Idk how but we’ll get through it. Here’s to our future selves and hopefully some terra firma
I've been there, quite often and recently. Most of my life it's the second kind, which looks less bad from the outside but actually is kinda worse. Hang in there <3
Hey ND - I hear ya. Please hang in there. Many things matter even if you can't tell from where you're at right now. If you have Netflix and want to take your mind elsewhere, I warmly recommend watching "Dancing With The Birds" - it's hilarious, full of beauty and mystery, and a celebration of nature. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6po8dWuvCI
I know the "nothing matters" feeling well, and I've benefited from leaning into it. Nothing matters, so why not do something that makes me happy. Nothing matters, so why not do something nice for someone. Nothing matters, so be gay, do crimes, order guac on the burrito, eat the entire pint of ice cream, try something new.
Thank you for this, that's a very good point <3
Also, for some reason, this comment and Marin's answer are prompting a wave of affection toward you all, inside me?
Lots, lots of love to the little community of commenters here struggling with similar thoughts and feelings. I don't know any of you, but it's a regular source of joy to read you and see your names (and much affection to you too, you invisible heart-ers!). It feels safe, and helpful, and wholesome in spite of it all; and full of gender feels and thoughts about so many different lives. I love this, and, to the extent of its meaning toward kind Internet strangers, I love you, too.
This apathetic state shall pass. Take care. Take care, take care, take care. You're seen, and so, so brave for being queer (or LGBT+ and living your truth in spite of it all, if you don't vibe with that other word) and being you. It's so... inspiring, seeing other people with echoing stories gathered in this soft corner of the Internet. It gives me strength. Hope you can feel a small part of that strength, too. We'll get through this. <3
I was thinking the very same thing! I tend to get very anxious on social platforms (more so than irl) but I feel safe here, for the reasons you stated. Seeing familiar names here make me happy. I hope you take care, too <3
There's also the fact that most social networks these days go incredibly fast, with - in my opinion - an overloading way of feeding you new info all the time without any possibility to catch up (except by digging through heaps of messages and feeling like you missed the whole train on this or that topic - hi Twitter and Discord). Comment sections (especially such a positive one) feel much closer to small-sized forums from Internet days of yore, where you could write lengthy messages so much time after the original thread and still get answers, at your own, slow pace (I liked forums so much more, OK? x) They were a better fit for my anxious, easily overwhelmed, long answers liker, and FOMO-fueled brain).
I like this a lot about this place: each answer is a tiny rush of serotonin in and of itself. It's so heartwarming.
Also, thanks! I will do my best <3
okay I don't really mean this in a creepy way but i like to look at all of the comments and stuff and the heartfelt stuff and it makes me happy to see all of the strangers living in different parts of america or canada or like,, even switzerland or something just making friends and bonding over the smallest things. some of these things stick in my brain for months afterward and make me smile in the middle of class or something else and so just to see all of these people not caring about anything but at the same time caring about so many things talking about their problems and their joys, and its so sweet and i wish i could heart some of these posts multiple times i just- i dont know, sorry i went on a ramble there :)
I understand that feeling, for sure <3
The "nothing matters" phase of my depression saved my life. It took the pressure, fears and imaginary responsibilities away and taught me how failing, while somewhat inevitable, most of the time does not really matter at all.
When I accepted the world wasn't really depending on me or my contributions to society I finally was free to start over - so today I have awesome queer relationships and do dwarven nonsense for a living.
Still nothing matters but everything I do beyond nothing feels like a bonus. No setlist, only encore.
This is what I've been trying to do, lately <3
You matter. It might not feel like it right now, but you matter
Exactly. You definitely matter ❤️
Been feeling the ebb and flow of this one for the better part of a decade. Please know that you simply sharing this experience is incredibly meaningful.
Yeah, I've been kind of moving from the first to the second kind during the last two years, too... If I may say, though, even if nothing really matters, you matter to your loved ones, and they probably matter to you underneath this (understandable) apathy. This will pass, I promise, and strong feelings - notably of joy, of connection, of understanding - will come again. They slowly have been for me, in the last few months, and even though it still feels like nothing matters in the grand scheme of things, my heart is bursting with love for my close friends and lovers, and I think this sense of, of closeness, of community, is so, so full of purpose and life.
Good luck weathering this storm of whatever, and take care <3 As Jorts the cat would say, there *will* be more sunbeams.
I agree, you matter to your loved ones.
Nnbklnbk * hugs *
Life is weird, humans are termites, and existence is wild. Sending good vibes your way.
YUP. <3
Yup. <3
Thank you for this. For the first time I was able to recognize the signs of my depression a few days ago, and today it really hit. It's strange seeing how it evolves over time and you learn to change with it - or it's an absolute shock and you just gotta find the strength to be nice to yourself. Anywho, Thank You. <3
Have you heard of the number where a kindergartner will give you a pep talk? It's not much, but maybe it'll help a little...
707-873-7862
I know the feeling - it might never disappear completely, but there will be better days. ☼ ☼ ☼
Sounding the bugle for you, ND; sorry you’re going through it. Been feeling a similar way lately, like the world could just crumble away from beneath and I wouldn’t care even if I started to fall. Idk how but we’ll get through it. Here’s to our future selves and hopefully some terra firma
I've been there, quite often and recently. Most of my life it's the second kind, which looks less bad from the outside but actually is kinda worse. Hang in there <3
Hey ND - I hear ya. Please hang in there. Many things matter even if you can't tell from where you're at right now. If you have Netflix and want to take your mind elsewhere, I warmly recommend watching "Dancing With The Birds" - it's hilarious, full of beauty and mystery, and a celebration of nature. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6po8dWuvCI
oof.
I know exactly how that goes.
I'm with you on that, ND. Feelings are still there, but it's more like "Eh, fuck it."
Just learning to live with it is much easier than constantly fighting it.
Large mood for small m o o d